Halloween brings out all kinds of spooky characters.

See the lists below from NBC Today that poke a little fun at everything from witches to werewolves.

  • What do you call a werewolf with a fever? A hot dog.
  • Why did the zombie eat brains? He wanted food for thought.
  • How do zombies get in the house? They use a skeleton key.
  • Where do baby ghosts go? Day-scare.
  • How do skeletons make calls? On the tele-bone.
  • How do ghosts take their coffee? With scream and sugar.
  • How do you say “goodbye” to a vampire? So long, sucker!
  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
  • Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o’-lantern? It needed to lighten up.
  • What’s a ghost’s least favorite day of the week? Moan-day.
  • Which Great Lake should you visit on Halloween? Lake Eerie.
  • What sport do bats like to play? Baseball.
  • What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet.
  • Where do spiders do their online shopping? On the web.
  • Why don’t haunted houses like rain? It dampens their spirits.
  • What do you need to unlock a haunted house? A spoo-key.
  • What did one invisible man say to the other? Long time, no see.
  • How can you prevent being possessed by a demon? Exercise.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? It was outstanding in its field.
  • Did you hear the one about the confusing cemetery book? It had too many plots.
  • Why do cemeteries have fences? Everyone’s dying to get in.

Pumpkin puns for Halloween

  • Who rules the pumpkin patch? The pump-king.
  • How did the jack-o-lantern fix the rip in its jeans? It used a pumpkin patch.
  • Let’s give ‘em pumpkin to talk about.
  • What’s a mathematicians favorite Halloween treat? Pumpkin pi.
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • Orange you pumped for Halloween?

Vampire puns for Halloween

  • What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
  • How do bats know where to fly? They wing it.
  • Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Everyone thinks he’s batty.
  • How can you tell that a vampire has a cold? It’s coffin.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite snack? Neck-tarine.
  • Who won the vampire marathon? No one knows — it was neck and neck.
  • What kind of dog does a vampire have? Bloodhound.
  • What do vampires and false teeth have in common? They both come out at night.
  • Where’s Dracula’s ATM? At the blood bank.
  • Why did the vampire use mouthwash? It had bat breath.
  • Are vampires real? No, unless you count Dracula.
  • Why don’t vampires eat cows? They don’t like stakes.
  • What do weight-conscious vampires drink? Blood light.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail? Bloody Mary.
  • Why aren’t vampires popular? They’re a pain in the neck.

Witch puns for Halloween

  • What’s a witch’s favorite breakfast food? Scream of Wheat.
  • Where do witches go when they get sick? The witch doctor.
  • Why was the witch late to work? She over-swept.
  • What do witches use to style their hair? Scare spray.
  • Why did the angry witch leave her broomstick at home? She was afraid she’d fly off the handle.
  • Why did everyone think the witch was grumpy? She had a resting witch face.
  • What do you called two witches that share the same apartment? Broom-mates.
  • Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a fainting spell.
  • Why don’t witches like winter? They hate cold spells.
  • Why’d the witch get kicked out of school? She couldn’t spell.
  • What happens if a witch parks illegally? Her car gets toad.
  • Why do witches like to stay in hotels? They offer broom service.
  • Why don’t witches own cars with automatic transmission? They know how to drive a stick.

Skeleton puns for Halloween

  • Who won the skeleton 5K race? No body.
  • Why does everyone like skeleton jokes? Because they’re humerus.
  • What did one skeleton say to the other before eating dinner? Bone appetite!
  • What do skeletons like to eat at cookouts? Spare ribs.
  • Why did the skeleton shut off the scary movie? It didn’t have the guts to watch it.
  • What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.